TROY
ok guys. we gotta start heading home.
ALEX
i no want to go home.
BELLA
yeah dad. we want to stay.
TROY
sorry guys but i have to use the restroom.
BELLA (pointing her thumb over her shoulder)
go behind those bushes. no one will see.
TROY
i don't have to just go pee bella.
BELLA
you have to go poop?
TROY
yes. i have to go poop.
BELLA
that's ok. go ahead. we'll just say a dog did it.
that's what molly does.
TROY
i would bella but i don't have any
father wipes.
BELLA
oh ... right ... c'mon alex, we gotta go home. dad has to poop.
as my infinite luck would have it, a few university coeds were walking by just as bella so matter-of-factly announced the dire state of my rectum while getting up from the curb. it's funny what such discomforting glances can do to a pending BM. at least we were able to walk home in a leisurely manner.