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who's circumcised

BUT IT'S DIRTY
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CAST: strong handshake girl, darkman, bomber and myself
SETTING:   dinner party
SCENE: a group of us sitting around after dinner and a conversation breaks out about, of all things, circumcision. for the life of me, i can't remember who initially brought it up.

STRONG HANDSHAKE GIRL
who wants to deal with an uncircumcised penis anyway.

TROY
maybe the guy it belonged to.

STRONG HANDSHAKE GIRL
if a guy isn't circumcised, then the girl has to worry about what all is hiding up in there. it could be filthy. how gross is that.

TROY
i should think that a fellow would know how to clean himself if that's what he always had. and, if he didn't you'd have other, greater hygiene issues to contend with anyway.

STRONG HANDSHAKE GIRL
i just don't have faith it wouldn't be a mess.

TROY
that's rich. women are sportin a veritable petri dish given all those labial folds and crannies carrying everything from underwear lint to 3 month old soap scum.

STRONG HANDSHAKE GIRL
well i trust a woman to be able to keep that all clean over a guy any day. they'd have no prayer.

TROY
if a guy always had foreskin it's not like there'd be pustulating ooze and loose change falling out of the thing.

STRONG HANDSHAKE GIRL
ok, i think we just entered into a state of too much information.

DARKMAN
so troy, how's your circumcision boycott doing anyway.

TROY
tied for second. i'm real surprised it's not doing better.

BOMBER
and what's the most boycotted item.

TROY(looking at strong handshake girl)
the phrase "too much information".

STRONG HANDSHAKE GIRL
(rolls eyes and looks away)




would you believe that was the second person who made that argument that same day. some of you may be wondering who has two conversations about circumcision with women they don't know but all i'm thinking is after having two circumcision related conversations with two strange women every day for the last 12 years, how come i've never encountered this argument before. baffling. total bullshit. but, baffling all the same.




BUT IT'S DIRTY
< prev next >


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