AARON
when i was in the service we lived next to this real violent drunk guy. he was an armorer which means he worked in the armory. he'd get stinking drunk and fight with his wife like crazy. he'd often get dispatched for months at a time and when he was gone different men would just be in and out of their place, seeing his wife.

TROY
you didn't see that in mchale's navy.

AARON
one night she comes up pounding on my door screaming and crying for me to let her in. i knew exactly who it was and there was no way i was going to let her in.

TROY
what!? why the hell not.

AARON
oh hell no.

SMART RYAN
and you would have let her in?

TROY
i came home for lunch the other day and there was an old, senile, black woman named jennie sitting in my kitchen that marty found wandering around the street. i think my home would have let her in.

SMART RYAN
that's different.

TROY
she would have been let in. that's all i'm saying.

AARON
well while she's pounding on the door she starts screaming that he has a gun.

TROY
and you STILL didn't let her in?

AARON
i'm not opening my door when there's some crazy, drunk and pissed marine running around with a gun. i had two kids sleeping in the other room.

SMART RYAN
so what did you do?

AARON
i told her i already called the mps and she should go hide somewhere until they showed up.

TROY
GO HIDE SOMEWHERE!?!? please tell me you're kidding? how long had it been since you'd called the mp's?

AARON
well i hadn't called them but figured someone would have by that point.