BOOKGUY
it's unfortunate we live in a society where we are conditioned against giving people fully candid advice. in most cases it is only the totally honest truth that will help someone improve.

TROY
but folks are too fragile. and who's to say that the speaker's opinion is qualified or rational to begin with. if you got some idiot spouting moronic commentary off in your face you're likely to smack them and then look at the mess you got.

BOOKGUY
the problem is the idiot is spouting off their moronic commentary anyway, just not in front of you. i should get to hear what people, even if they are a jackass, really think so i can decide wether it has merit or not.

TROY
well, since those jackasses sometimes share their opinions in front of me, i could tell you what folks are saying and that would almost be as good as hearing it firsthand.

BOOKGUY
yeah, i got some things on you too.

TROY
so an honesty exchange of sorts?

BOOKGUY
sure. we got three hours left on this trip and you're getting less charming with each mile marker.

TROY
ok. who goes first?

BOOKGUY
you.

TROY
all right. well. you're brash. you're disrespectful of people who know less than you about technology ... joann actually calls you a technology bigot ... and you beat people down publicly when you should maybe do it in private.

BOOKGUY
ok. i guess all of that is fair.

TROY
agreed. ok, my turn. you go.

BOOKGUY
well. let's see. you can be whiny. you pout if you don't get your way. you hold grudges way too long.

TROY
WHAT! who the hell said that about me?

BOOKGUY
what do you mean who said that?

TROY
i mean who thinks that about me?

BOOKGUY
I think that about you.

TROY
YOU! you're supposed to say what other people think about me! not what you think!.

BOOKGUY
OH! i thought we were being honest with each other.

TROY
god no! i don't want to know what people who know me think about me. i want to know what people who don't know me think about me.

BOOKGUY (burst out laughing)
ha. i'm sorry. i guess i misunderstood the rules.

TROY
yeah. i guess you did. and when you get done guffawing i've got another observation or two for your soon-to-be-growing pile of personality flaws.