for me, one of the hardest adjustments of parenthood was having people touching me and my stuff all the time. and when i say this you're probably imagining clean, healthy and groomed humans but that's not always the case. it turns out children prove as slippery as the weather and one day might gift you a beautiful gerber baby day while the next deals you a mucus-plugged nose or diarrhea filled footed pajama. overcoming this neurosis has surely been one of my greatest personal feats in life. but i have a sneaking suspicion that the moment i finally embrace it fully and am ready for one and all, whatever their state, my kids will start moving on, leaving me ready for infinite contact but finding myself living in a silent house or sitting on an empty porch.