bella kept the first hat she ever knitted in her car. this was not for ornamental purposes like a graduation tassel but a functional part of her car's toolkit like an ice scraper or flashlight. being her first full project it had some pretty obvious flaws so she felt it didn't merit a routine rotation, nor was it worthy of proper donation. but it was perfect to help fight a morning chill until her car warmed up. and given how much of a knitter she has become it did hold a touch of sentiment for her.

another thing one can usually find in bella's car is food that she gives to homeless folks on street corners. here she will roll down a window and explain she doesn't have any money but does have some food they could take. then she will pull from her bin some apple sauce or granola bars or the like and hand them over.

the other day she was driving and saw a guy on the corner. when she looked at at her food stock it was empty. she eyed the man. he looked cold. her eyes scanned the car for something. there sat her hat. her first hat. it was all she had. she then looked at the man. as she rolled down her window she apologized that she didn't have any money or food but she did have this hat and asked if he would like it. he wordlessly nodded. so she looked at the hat in her hand one last time, gave it a kiss and then handed it out the window.

after sharing this story with me, i think i was sadder than she was. she saw it on my face and said, "it's ok dad--my hat will do him more good than it was doing me." these moments where our roles are reversed are becoming more the norm than the exception. like many things in my changing life, i don't know if it pleases or saddens me.

as a historical aside, this picture was taken the last time she ever drove her first car.