there is something in the dearmitt-world that merits a bit more discussion. those paying super-fine attention will have noticed that my days-left-with-bella counter (REF) started displaying negative numbers last week. no one dreaded that moment more than i. 

i've talked a little bit about bella and college but let me hit some of the highlights here and catch you up. 

at dinner one night during bella's junior year, marty asked her what she was thinking in regards to college. bella said that she didn't care where she went as long as it was within twenty minutes of the house. surprised by this declaration, marty and i asked more about it. bella said that she didn't want to miss sunday dinners with the family. through a full mouth of food, an eleven-year-old anthony said, "but you're not home for sunday dinners now, why do you think you will be when you're in college?" oh, those young rascals and their pesky observations. 

we told bella that it was okay for her to stay in the area, but that she would have to live on campus. she pushed back. hard. she didn't want to live on campus. she wanted to live at home. she liked living at home. marty and i explained that living on campus was all part of the experience and non-negotiable in our eyes. 

while bella was finishing up high school, i left my university job AND free tuition for all of my children to start a new business. bella MASSIVELY hooked me up by covering all of her tuition expenses and then some by winning multiple scholarships. 

while we felt great relief in bella getting these scholarships (so we could continue paying our mortgage), we held our ground about living on campus. and, as you'd expect, bella held hers. it was our first and only real impasse on the college experience. 

then one day late in her senior year, bella approached marty and i and said, "so i have covered all of my tuition and books. you want me to live on campus. this is for you." she handed marty an envelope. marty opened it, read its contents, and passed it to me. it was a detailed housing bill that came to more than 10k for year one. i looked at marty who was eyeing my reaction. after a wordless beat, she turned to bella and said, "bella, we'd love to have you live at home with us your first year of school."

well played my baya. well played.

and now that bella attended her first college class earlier this week, i cannot tell you how relieved i am that she is still spending nights in our home. i wasn't ready for her to go. i think i can be ready in another year. all i know is i wasn't ready this week.