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Yesterday I talked about the challenging and rewarding parts of the deck project. Today let me share the most exciting part of the build. A few years ago, Marty got me a GoPro for Christmas. It was a great gift and something I often use. I record everything from tennis matches to family dinners. A new thing I've been using it for is to make time lapses of work I do. The deck project was a perfect subject for one of these treatments.

Until.

One Saturday, I was out doing my thing. Bella was at work. Anthony was at wrestling practice. Alex was at a friend's house. I heard the kitchen window open in the middle of my sawing a board, followed by Marty's voice. Hey there Mr. worker. Are you thirsty? Would you like me to get you a cold drink?

Smiling, I told her that I was good. She then said if I didn't want any water, maybe I'd like some of these. With that, she raised her shirt and flashed her chest. When she lowered the shirt again, it revealed a youthful smile. I asked if that was how she paid the workers all these years when her husband didn't make much money. Her reply, "only the cute ones." More smiling. She then closed the window, and we each went back to our work. Not even sixty seconds went by before the window flew open again. Before I could fully look up, she was pointing behind me.

MARTY
Is that GoPro recording right now!?!

TROY
Uh. Oh. Yes, it is.

MARTY
Did it just record me flashing you?

TROY
Uhh. Yes, I don't think it knows how to ignore nudity.

MARTY
Can you edit it out?

TROY
So that is possible. The problem is Alex, your son, is the only one in the house that knows how to do that.

MARTY
That might not be good.

TROY
It would be for some future psychiatrist.

As a final note on the deck project, when I pulled up the cement so I could re-do the bricks, Anthony asked what I was doing. I explained that this bit of concrete was messed up and needed replaced. He asked why just that part was bad. I said I wasn't sure. But it was definitely different than all of the surrounding cement. The neighboring blocks were much thicker and the one I was pulling up was superficially thin. He asked why they would do that. Standing next to him I said I wasn't sure. But as we surveyed the block I added that it was pretty exactly the same size of an adult body. I said, "Maybe they ran out of room in the attic".

There is a myth that there are a bunch of bodies hidden in our attic. I may have been the one to start the rumor but I did so after we learned that someone had dry-walled over the attic access. In trying to figure out why someone would do that, our/my best answer was to hide something. So this is why we'd theorize this hastily poured patch of concrete could be the attic overflow.

After this conversation and before I laid the bricks, I seriously considered digging down a few feet to see if I found anything. I decided against it. Mostly because, if I found a body there, I would have to move. And I don't want to move because (a) I love my house, and (b) I just finished the sexy new deck and would like to enjoy it some.

NOV2021

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