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little kids masturbate.

my sister in law, who is an elementary teacher, calls kids who masturbate in class honkers. she calls the act of masturbating in class, honking. i fear my kids may be future honkers. while i don't recall specifically, odds are more than good that i may have been a honker myself. my new theory is that without intervention, all kids have the honker gene in them. i reckon one's honking potential may vary from say a 3 to a 10 with most falling in the 6 to 7 range.

my personal struggle is i feel awkward correcting behavior that seems totally natural. even with this open sentiment, the rule in our home is 'you're free to do that, but you need to do it in private'. there have been times i've called bella on this rule where she tells me she is in private. i explain that if we're having this conversation while she's doing it, physics dictate that she is in fact not in private. but, that's not how i say it. it comes out more like 'bella, please just go to your room if you're going to continue honking'.

other times bella will ask marty or i if we honk in private. but that's not how she says it. she is usually in the act and says 'daddy, do you do this in private?'. i obviously reply that 'yes, i do that in private bella'. each time this happens, i'm tempted to tell her about a guy i used to work with who didn't honk in private and how it caused all sorts of unique issues in the workplace, but it seems early for that conversation. hell, it seems early for all of these conversations.

being a parent is hard in so many ways people just don't talk about.




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