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i mentioned that we recently potty trained anthony. he has recently entered phase three of the potty training process. in the event you have never potty trained a human and aren't sure what the evolution of a developing toddler looks like, it is this.

phase 0 : not potty trained. totally comfortably deucing in their diaper and sitting with said feces in direct, warm contact with their skin for many hours at a time. also has no issue visibly exerting themselves in front of anyone in the room. adults often find these red, straining faces entertaining to unreasonable degrees.

phase 1 : no longer likes sitting in poop. still goes in a diaper but will immediately ask to be changed. oftentimes requires privacy to evacuate their system and will consequently do their business behind chairs, sitting beneath tables, or go to empty rooms of a house.

phase 2 : will use a toilet but prove inconsistent and unreliable, thus requiring a human to constantly cajole them towards a bathroom. and once there their human must sit with them to police and oversee the experience.

phase 3 : knows when they have to use the restroom and will do so on their own accord. when done they will proudly announce what they did.

phase 4 : barring accidents, are totally reliable to use the restroom when needed but will no longer announce what they need to do or how what they did went.

phase 5 : barring illness, are completely reliable. but won't plop or exert audible effort (or celebration) within earshot of anyone whether friend, family or even complete stranger.

phase 6 : will unabashedly plop, splash, groan, grunt and pound the wall while efforting a unmalleable, dehydrated cudgel from their person.

i've never met an admitted stage sixer. i've heard a few of them in my day, but i've never met one.




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