TROYSCRIPTS

About
the troyscripts explained

Archives
hands where i can see 'em
a phase
left field
logic
sobbing
humiliated
jack, you're in
slackers need not apply
how does this work
rat-fink
mixed-up
rockwell christmas
me-minus
house rules
motivation
confidence
player
vcr
cool and sophisticated
new game
boyfriend
a hole
questions
battle
got religion
realization
i can read
so ya know
don't walk
misdirected
potty words
unexpected
critique
thursday morning
bathroom words
acting out
got milk?
problem solving
timing
totally awesome
dry meat
the c-word
beatdown
mouthache
punked
good to know
adults only
take your meds
onslaught
enjoy your anger
crystal clear
pint size pi
good thinking
i get your wieners
incompetence
oh yeah
shame on you
street credit
get your ass out here
uhhhhmmm
daredevil's club
found
schooled
stand-off
once upon a time
philosophies
sleeping naked
short-lived
keep it down up there
little things
eighteen years
multi-purpose
old (part ii)
curious
no secrets
adolescence
old
sugar-coated
new mom
outmatched
different
mercial
confused
calling home
oma
flavored and scented
try again
just a child
a pack of lies
now?
i'm not sleeping there
smart, smart girl
don't feed the animals
free pizza
the bedtime story
currency
you should know
dinner-table biology
dad has to go
three shows
remedial self-help
the last word
look before you leak
a gooder name
can i keep this?
missing keri
three percenter
things that are yellow
adopt you
37 years in 5 minutes
finish pooping please
marcher
warrior, part ii
go hide
be a warrior
you rang
your name's what?
motherhood
how'd that get in there?
i don't do that
i gotta know
i don't like that
confused (part i)
show me
the uphill battle
life post-larry
hey, i know you
smell my finger
who are you, supergirl?
the lie
i gotta go!
easy money
thanks for telling me
i need a minute
he's only five!
you in the closet?
reach into daddy's pocket
look into my eyes
is that my toothbrush?
overall funk
talk to my people
it's also neat
is there any other kind
did you read that article
the exchange student
hey boo-boo
he does have his limits
i said no!
may i have your attention?
i have a question
but it's dirty
that explains it
museum naked
feelin' sexy
little bo sheep
infinitesimal talk
hale bop alula
ipod you
thanking delusion
chiniqua
circuitious
what did you say?
the reflex
oh that kind of house
would you mind?
naked
excuse me ladies
is that egg on your face?
boy genius
questions aren't dumb
the wedding toast (part i)
andy gibb is coming
ring the bell sir
the party line
i need penis problems
grab a kneeler
drive faster mom!
white castle
heat sucks
the wrong question
special hole
you order wrong
who's circumcised

TRY AGAIN
< prev next >
CAST: bella, alex, troy
SETTING:   kids' bed
SCENE: we've just finished reading books and have turned the lights out for bedtime.

BELLA
dad, you going to tell a story now?

TROY
uhhm. sure. let me think of something. (few moments) how about a story about a snake?

BELLA
Yes!

ALEX
No! snakes be scary.

TROY
ok. how about one about a dog?

BELLA
Yes!

ALEX
no. dog's be scary too.

BELLA
alex. dog's aren't scary.

ALEX
yes they are.

TROY
what if it was a puppy?

ALEX
no.

TROY
ok. ok. how about a story about a train?

BELLA
no.

ALEX
yes. train. train's not scary.

BELLA
but trains are dumb.

ALEX (shouting)
trains are not dumb della!

TROY
bella. trains aren't dumb and there's really not a train in this story. so it's ok.

BELLA
ok. i guess, but i'd rather have a snake story.

TROY
i know. i know. ok. so here's my story. when i was about twelve years old, that's how old cousin emma is, we didn't have any plans one saturday so my mom said she wanted to take a short trip to visit a friend of hers. so we drove several hours to southern colorado and wound up in some very little town. it was super-tiny and there were no people or cars anywhere. we kinda got lost and were driving around trying to figure out where to go. we stopped at this intersection and mom was looking at a map when suddenly some loud bells started clanging and when we looked up to see what was making the noise a huge bar slammed onto the hood of our car. it seems we were sitting beneath a railroad crossing sign and the bar to stop traffic just fell. we quickly looked both ways but no train was coming and the bar on the other side of the road was still up so it seemed like this thing just went crazy for a minute. well here we are, sitting in middle of a deserted town with a huge bar on the hood of our car. mom sent me out to try to lift it a little but it was too heavy and i was too small.

BELLA
so what did you do?

TROY
well this town was seriously deserted and we hadn't seen anyone since we got there so mom, or grandma rather, just had to back up and let the bar scrape the hood of the car.

BELLA
and?

TROY
and what?

BELLA
is that it?

TROY
yeah. i guess so.

BELLA
that wasn't a train story.

TROY
well, it was kind of a train story. it was a story about train traffic guard.

BELLA
that doesn't count. now tell a train story.



my reputation as a capable storyteller is waning, rapidly.



TRY AGAIN
< prev next >


Welcome Professional MonoRail TroyScripts Gallery