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a phase
left field
logic
sobbing
humiliated
jack, you're in
slackers need not apply
how does this work
rat-fink
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rockwell christmas
me-minus
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player
vcr
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new game
boyfriend
a hole
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got religion
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i can read
so ya know
don't walk
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thursday morning
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acting out
got milk?
problem solving
timing
totally awesome
dry meat
the c-word
beatdown
mouthache
punked
good to know
adults only
take your meds
onslaught
enjoy your anger
crystal clear
pint size pi
good thinking
i get your wieners
incompetence
oh yeah
shame on you
street credit
get your ass out here
uhhhhmmm
daredevil's club
found
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stand-off
once upon a time
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sleeping naked
short-lived
keep it down up there
little things
eighteen years
multi-purpose
old (part ii)
curious
no secrets
adolescence
old
sugar-coated
new mom
outmatched
different
mercial
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calling home
oma
flavored and scented
try again
just a child
a pack of lies
now?
i'm not sleeping there
smart, smart girl
don't feed the animals
free pizza
the bedtime story
currency
you should know
dinner-table biology
dad has to go
three shows
remedial self-help
the last word
look before you leak
a gooder name
can i keep this?
missing keri
three percenter
things that are yellow
adopt you
37 years in 5 minutes
finish pooping please
marcher
warrior, part ii
go hide
be a warrior
you rang
your name's what?
motherhood
how'd that get in there?
i don't do that
i gotta know
i don't like that
confused (part i)
show me
the uphill battle
life post-larry
hey, i know you
smell my finger
who are you, supergirl?
the lie
i gotta go!
easy money
thanks for telling me
i need a minute
he's only five!
you in the closet?
reach into daddy's pocket
look into my eyes
is that my toothbrush?
overall funk
talk to my people
it's also neat
is there any other kind
did you read that article
the exchange student
hey boo-boo
he does have his limits
i said no!
may i have your attention?
i have a question
but it's dirty
that explains it
museum naked
feelin' sexy
little bo sheep
infinitesimal talk
hale bop alula
ipod you
thanking delusion
chiniqua
circuitious
what did you say?
the reflex
oh that kind of house
would you mind?
naked
excuse me ladies
is that egg on your face?
boy genius
questions aren't dumb
the wedding toast (part i)
andy gibb is coming
ring the bell sir
the party line
i need penis problems
grab a kneeler
drive faster mom!
white castle
heat sucks
the wrong question
special hole
you order wrong
who's circumcised

SPECIAL HOLE
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CAST: nieces lauren and maria (both 11), marty and myself
SETTING:   slumber party at our house
SCENE: talking right before going to sleep, i'm sitting close by reading

MARIA (to marty)
Are you going to have your baby by c-section or the other way.

MARTY
I hope to have it the other way which is called vaginally.

MARIA
Oh.

LAUREN
What does vaginally mean?

MARTY
Well, when women get pregnant, they have a special hole for the baby to come out when it is born and when it comes out of this special hole it is called a vaginal birth.

LAUREN
Oh.

MARIA (to me)
Are you learning stuff here Uncle Troy?


SPECIAL HOLE
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