TROYSCRIPTS

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the troyscripts explained

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jack, you're in
slackers need not apply
how does this work
rat-fink
mixed-up
rockwell christmas
me-minus
house rules
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player
vcr
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questions
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i can read
so ya know
don't walk
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potty words
unexpected
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thursday morning
bathroom words
acting out
got milk?
problem solving
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totally awesome
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the c-word
beatdown
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good to know
adults only
take your meds
onslaught
enjoy your anger
crystal clear
pint size pi
good thinking
i get your wieners
incompetence
oh yeah
shame on you
street credit
get your ass out here
uhhhhmmm
daredevil's club
found
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stand-off
once upon a time
philosophies
sleeping naked
short-lived
keep it down up there
little things
eighteen years
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old (part ii)
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old
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outmatched
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mercial
confused
calling home
oma
flavored and scented
try again
just a child
a pack of lies
now?
i'm not sleeping there
smart, smart girl
don't feed the animals
free pizza
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currency
you should know
dinner-table biology
dad has to go
three shows
remedial self-help
the last word
look before you leak
a gooder name
can i keep this?
missing keri
three percenter
things that are yellow
adopt you
37 years in 5 minutes
finish pooping please
marcher
warrior, part ii
go hide
be a warrior
you rang
your name's what?
motherhood
how'd that get in there?
i don't do that
i gotta know
i don't like that
confused (part i)
show me
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life post-larry
hey, i know you
smell my finger
who are you, supergirl?
the lie
i gotta go!
easy money
thanks for telling me
i need a minute
he's only five!
you in the closet?
reach into daddy's pocket
look into my eyes
is that my toothbrush?
overall funk
talk to my people
it's also neat
is there any other kind
did you read that article
the exchange student
hey boo-boo
he does have his limits
i said no!
may i have your attention?
i have a question
but it's dirty
that explains it
museum naked
feelin' sexy
little bo sheep
infinitesimal talk
hale bop alula
ipod you
thanking delusion
chiniqua
circuitious
what did you say?
the reflex
oh that kind of house
would you mind?
naked
excuse me ladies
is that egg on your face?
boy genius
questions aren't dumb
the wedding toast (part i)
andy gibb is coming
ring the bell sir
the party line
i need penis problems
grab a kneeler
drive faster mom!
white castle
heat sucks
the wrong question
special hole
you order wrong
who's circumcised

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CAST: troy and a classmate/friend of bella's
SETTING:   bella's school lunchroom
SCENE: i am at bella's school to have lunch with her. while there, one of her friend's approached me and launched into the following conversation.

BELLA'S CLASSMATE
troy.

TROY
yes.

BELLA'S CLASSMATE
why do you do troyscripts?

TROY
uhhhhmmm. what?

BELLA'S CLASSMATE
why do you do troyscripts? you know, on that website about bella.

TROY
uhhhhmmm. yeah. uhhhhmmm. i do troyscripts so i can remember things.

BELLA'S CLASSMATE
did you know bella says a bad word in there?

TROY
uhhhhmmm. no. what word does she say?

BELLA'S CLASSMATE (leans into whisper)
crappy

TROY
really? she says that?

BELLA'S CLASSMATE
yes. she says other things too.

TROY
uhhhhmmm. yeah. i don't remember.

BELLA'S CLASSMATE
but you said that was why you do troyscripts. so you can remember.

TROY
uhhhhmmm. yeah. then i guess it's so i don't have to remember.



based on the above conversation would you believe that i used to get paid to talk for a living.

i knew this was going to happen. that bella's friends would one day discover this website and read about bella and comment on what they read. it's just happening about seven years sooner than i expected. fortunately bella not only did not mind this intrusion into her world i think she thinks everyone has such a thing, just like everyone has a home and a book-bag and a bellybutton. it may get interesting when she learns this is not the case.




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