TROYSCRIPTS

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hands where i can see 'em
a phase
left field
logic
sobbing
humiliated
jack, you're in
slackers need not apply
how does this work
rat-fink
mixed-up
rockwell christmas
me-minus
house rules
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confidence
player
vcr
cool and sophisticated
new game
boyfriend
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questions
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got religion
realization
i can read
so ya know
don't walk
misdirected
potty words
unexpected
critique
thursday morning
bathroom words
acting out
got milk?
problem solving
timing
totally awesome
dry meat
the c-word
beatdown
mouthache
punked
good to know
adults only
take your meds
onslaught
enjoy your anger
crystal clear
pint size pi
good thinking
i get your wieners
incompetence
oh yeah
shame on you
street credit
get your ass out here
uhhhhmmm
daredevil's club
found
schooled
stand-off
once upon a time
philosophies
sleeping naked
short-lived
keep it down up there
little things
eighteen years
multi-purpose
old (part ii)
curious
no secrets
adolescence
old
sugar-coated
new mom
outmatched
different
mercial
confused
calling home
oma
flavored and scented
try again
just a child
a pack of lies
now?
i'm not sleeping there
smart, smart girl
don't feed the animals
free pizza
the bedtime story
currency
you should know
dinner-table biology
dad has to go
three shows
remedial self-help
the last word
look before you leak
a gooder name
can i keep this?
missing keri
three percenter
things that are yellow
adopt you
37 years in 5 minutes
finish pooping please
marcher
warrior, part ii
go hide
be a warrior
you rang
your name's what?
motherhood
how'd that get in there?
i don't do that
i gotta know
i don't like that
confused (part i)
show me
the uphill battle
life post-larry
hey, i know you
smell my finger
who are you, supergirl?
the lie
i gotta go!
easy money
thanks for telling me
i need a minute
he's only five!
you in the closet?
reach into daddy's pocket
look into my eyes
is that my toothbrush?
overall funk
talk to my people
it's also neat
is there any other kind
did you read that article
the exchange student
hey boo-boo
he does have his limits
i said no!
may i have your attention?
i have a question
but it's dirty
that explains it
museum naked
feelin' sexy
little bo sheep
infinitesimal talk
hale bop alula
ipod you
thanking delusion
chiniqua
circuitious
what did you say?
the reflex
oh that kind of house
would you mind?
naked
excuse me ladies
is that egg on your face?
boy genius
questions aren't dumb
the wedding toast (part i)
andy gibb is coming
ring the bell sir
the party line
i need penis problems
grab a kneeler
drive faster mom!
white castle
heat sucks
the wrong question
special hole
you order wrong
who's circumcised

MERCIAL
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CAST: bella and troy
SETTING:   living room
SCENE: bella runs up to me while i'm reading on the couch.

BELLA
dad! will you get me an arial princess playland?

TROY
i don't know. what is it?

BELLA
it's this really, really neat thing that arial the princess sits in and it spins around and you can comb her hair and ohhhh father it's so wonderful and i want one soooo bad.

TROY
did you see it on a commercial?

BELLA
what's a mercial?

TROY
it's those things that talk about toys during your saturday morning shows.

BELLA
no, it wasn't a mercial. i saw it when they took the break in the show to figure out what to do next in the story.



in bella's mind, it seems, the mercials are all part of the show, they just aren't acted out by the feature characters. i'd love to see bella's mental picture of the animated justice league characters huddled up, arms entwined talking through what should happen in the second half of the animated story, while the mercial actors distract the audience with their short skits and plays about toys. isn't the fruitless knowledge we adults possess bizarre and isn't kids take on our programmed world just so super-great.

although, i think in bella's world aqua-man would be a total pain in the ass to work with on the fly. i see him forever bitching about not getting more screen time and threatening to walk off the set unless he's written in during the ninety second planning window. then again, this may very well be the reason he's not more of a player. bella's notion just may have legs after all.




MERCIAL
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