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FLAVORED AND SCENTED
< prev next >
CAST: alex, marty and troy
SETTING:   marty and troy's bedroom
SCENE: it is saturday morning. the kids are watching television and marty and i are chancing an early-morning conjugal tryst using some mint flavored and scented condoms. we heard alex searching us out and quickly separated. he cautiously pushed our seldom-shut bedroom door open, slowly peeking his head through the opening to find us in bed, sheets up to our necks and both looking right at him.

ALEX
mom? dad?

MARTY
yes alex.

ALEX
what are you doing?

MARTY
we're just laying here in bed.

ALEX (walks in and leans on the foot of the bed)
i was looking for you. i didn't know where you were.

MARTY
sorry. this is where we were.

ALEX
can i have some gum?

MARTY
oh, sorry alex but i don't have any gum.

ALEX
but i smell gum.



flavored condoms were one thing, but scented as well? the folks at trojan didn't really think this one through. as for how we even came to have such an esoteric item in marty's underwear drawer, just behind the tivo remote, is a marty impulse buy (quite rare) while at a grocery in colorado. she went in for feminine hygieney stuff and came out with that and a box of condoms which she part-way pulled out the bag to show me once in the car, smiling coyly like a high school boy who was mere hours away from using them. i told her she should have also gotten a can of baby formula, pulling off the parental hat-trick; tampons, condoms and enfamil. this is obviously only slightly less debaucherous than smokes, condoms and jumbo bag of ruffles like back in the day.



FLAVORED AND SCENTED
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